Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
