it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
