At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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