I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
