Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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