We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
