The maid of honor just puked.
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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