He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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