Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
