yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
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