Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
