thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
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