What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
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