Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
