they need to just BURY HIM!
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize