So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
