Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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