How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
