my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
