my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
i need some magic done to my vagina
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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