The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize