fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
