Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
