was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
