I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
