actually, I'm a sock model
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
So apparently I’m into choking now
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