if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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