I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
she pinky promised me she was 18
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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