finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
