On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
We're too hungover to prance.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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