u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
