the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
