His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
