you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
