He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
