Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
