if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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