when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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