just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
