i just wanna soil my oats bro
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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