stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
