Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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