Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Randomize
