I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
