This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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