HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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