maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
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