And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
he fucked my hip out of place.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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