The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
