i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
