when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
we made out on top of his cat.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
