I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
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