it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
