she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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