I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Randomize
