What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
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