Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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