I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
