My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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