You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
