My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
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