i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
