whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
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