very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
she peed on how many people?
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Randomize
