giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
